Energetic Boundaries
Maintaining clarity & authenticity while in connection
“Boundaries” is such an important word in mental health, and it usually refers to limits in relationships that let us know what feels okay/safe/tolerable or not. Limits we have with others that allow us to stay in connection.
“Energetic boundaries” refer to something more individual and internal (at least for this blog post) that we can create to protect our energy.
Energetic boundaries are something I (and most therapists) have had to learn about and create in order to do my job well. They’re lines I set within myself to protect my energy, so that I can provide clear and compassionate care to my clients.
Having energetic boundaries is crucial to prevent compassion fatigue and burnout. They also apply to just about any type of relationship - romantic partners, friends, family members, etc.
Energetic boundaries help us show up with others, from a safe distance, without taking on “too much of their stuff”. This helps us to maintain clarity and authenticity while in connection with others.
What are some examples of energetic boundaries? Often (but not always), they can involve some type of imagery or somatic posture. You’re welcome to come with your own, and here are some examples:
Imagine a bubble of compassion around your friend (or family member, partner, etc.). Maybe this bubble has a particular color. You’re able to see and hear your friend, without their “stuff” clouding your energy
Imagine a bubble surrounding yourself. This bubble has magical powers so you can interact with others, while maintaining protection of your clarity and authenticity.
Holding one hand on your heart as a way to stay grounded and connected to your body, and a reminder that you don’t have to take everything on.
Maintaining awareness of your feet, and maybe even pressing your toes gently into the ground/furniture they’re touching to enhance that awareness.
(With a small glass of water nearby) Imagine the water absorbing any heavy/negative/confusing energy during a conversation/meeting, and dumping the water out afterward.
(With potted plants nearby or the ground outside) Imagine the earth’s ability to absorb any heavy/negative/confusing energy during a conversation/meeting, and recycle it to grow something new and fresh.
(After a tough conversation) Imagine a waterfall in a doorway you walk through. As you walk through the waterfall, the water washes off any lingering heavy/negative/confusing energy.
Inviting in connection with each inhale, and imagine releasing anything that “isn’t yours” with each exhale
Energetic boundaries are not a way to shut people out or bypass real feelings. They are to assist in maintaining a safe distance, so you can stay connected.
Finding, setting, and maintaining boundaries can be extremely confusing, especially if they haven’t been modeled in a healthy way. This is the case for many survivors of relational, developmental, and attachment traumas. Fortunately, it’s possible to re-learn what healthy boundaries look like (even as an adult!), and are something many people end up learn for the first time as an adult.
As a therapist working with trauma survivors, this is a topic frequently explored and ongoing. If any of this resonates with you, I’d love to help you explore it further. Reach out to see if we might be a good fit.
Energetic Boundaries
Maintaining clarity & authenticity while in connection
